Thou shalt wear team colours. But think twice before adorning yourself with body paint—you don’t want to be the Internet photo that goes viral.- Thou shalt know—and sing—your team’s fight song from beginning to end. Sure, you can “watermelon watermelon” your way through the alma mater, but not memorising the fight song is a fan failure.
- Thou shalt keep your language clean (unless, of course, the quarterback fumbles on fourth and goal).
- Thou shalt support the coach. Even when his calls are questionable.
- Thou shalt be respectful to visiting teams. Remember: Southern ladies and gentlemen never boo.
- Thou shalt set up a tailgate no fewer than three hours before kick-off (six if it’s a night game). Table linens and matching huggers encouraged, but not required.
- Thou shalt theme your tailgate food around the visiting rival. Gator bites, anyone?
- Thou shalt stay through the fourth quarter—rain or shine. That’s what ponchos are for, y’all.
- Thou shalt respect the solemnity of Game Day by planning weddings, births, and other life events around the football schedule.
- Thou shalt not covet other teams’ bowl games, national championships, or Heisman Trophy wins. There’s always next year.
